


this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

by lemon_lullabies



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Fluff, Gen, M/M, Mild Angst, POV Mito Freecs, Plotless, ging is a poopoo head, lots of comfort, love for mito, mentions of recreational ging freecss punching, soft, the killugon is not the focus but it's mentioned throughout cuz i'm a sucker for those boys, there i said it, vague mentions of canonical abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27484954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemon_lullabies/pseuds/lemon_lullabies
Summary: "Killua's hands fidgeted almost unnoticeably, but it was his eyes that gave him away. They flitted from place to place as if looking for something. Looking for a threat, perhaps.Well, she would just have to do her best to be as unthreatening as possible."Five times in which Mito asks Killua for permission (because she knows how to deal with traumatized kids) and one time Killua asks her.
Relationships: Ging Freecs & Mito Freecs, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Mito Freecs & Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 69
Kudos: 181





	1. introduction

**Author's Note:**

> welcome! i've been planning this piece for a little while now; mito is one of my favorite characters and i was excited to write from her perspective! i'm also a sucker for mito-killua interactions, so this was a pleasure to write. i hope you enjoy!
> 
> title of the fic and of each chapter are from the poem "i carry your heart with me" by e.e. cummings

It would surprise absolutely nobody that Gon was a difficult child to raise. He was a loud kid, always yelling and running and jumping around, squawking like a little monkey. The world was his jungle gym, and, unfortunately for Mito, this meant both indoors and outdoors. The little gremlin could roll around in mud and scale as many trees as his little heart desired, but her greatest grievances were with his tendencies to track that mud all throughout the house and climb on furniture, leaping from place to place. Many a dining table had suffered from his ambushes.

Mito had made two wonderful investments during the first five years of Gon’s life: duct tape and rainbow-colored band-aids.

The first of her greatest ideas emerged as a need to save money. She found that most broken furniture could be deemed usable again with the help of God’s greatest creation: duct tape. Rather than sink money and time into obtaining a new table, she could simply patch up the broken leg with a thick layer of the miraculous invention. It might not be pretty, but it was effective. In a way, it acted as a scrapbook of Gon’s life, documenting all the times he had brought about destruction with his endless energy.

The band-aids were also related to Gon’s misadventures. Mito lost count of how many times Gon fell out of trees somewhere around the 18th time. She had tried on many occasions to prevent him from clambering up practically anything he set his eyes on, but it was to no avail. Gon simply must have his own way. Apparently, it was a goal of his to climb every tree on Whale Island. That means the number of splinters and knee-scrapes he would receive would be at least twice the number of trees on Whale Island. Thus the band-aids.

Originally, Mito had used the regular old band-aids kept around the house, but she soon ran out. This resulted in her toting a wailing four-year-old Gon down to the market as he sobbed over a single splinter in his finger. Upon arrival, Mito tuned out the world around her, focused intently on the task at hand. Find those band-aids and stop this incessant howling. It turns out that she didn’t need to find the band-aids to complete the second goal. Gon’s whining had abruptly stopped as his eyes caught on a box of rainbow band-aids. At the sudden silence, Mito turned and, spotting his complacency, did not hesitate to purchase those damn band-aids. Three boxes, to be safe.

The result of this decision was that Gon was much calmer whenever she had to tend to one of his injuries. Her only complaint was that she essentially had to dump the contents of the box out each time; Gon would always sniff away his tears while requesting a different color than Mito had originally pulled out. Every. Single. Time. It was a good thing he was cute because he certainly was a handful. Luckily, none of his injuries were ever major, and so they could be “fixed” with a colored band-aid and a kiss. What Mito wouldn’t give to be a kid again, all her problems wiped away with such simple actions.

Yes, raising Gon was a challenge. Yes, she would still flay Ging alive if given the chance. But she did a damn good job bringing this troublesome boy up, if you ask her.

Gon, above all, was polite and kind. He was just as compassionate as he was energetic, and practically everybody adored him immediately. Every animal became his pet, no matter how wild. His heart was always in the right place despite some questionable morality.

 _Her_ heart had shattered into infinitesimal pieces when, at the tender age of 12, Gon had asked to take the hunters exam. In that moment, he looked more like Ging’s son than ever. Still, she had known this day was coming. No number of rainbow band-aids could placate him now. No duct tape could keep him stuck by her side. Perhaps he was a bit young, but she had no other choice but to let him go. Let him grow on his own.

Without her.

Why was it that Mito found herself constantly weighing down those closest to her heart, staring into their backs as they ran towards the shoreline? When was it that she had become little more than a paperweight? At this point, the best thing she could do for Gon (and for Ging all those years ago) was to watch. Let him spread his wings and finally fly. Perhaps that was why he had spent the first 12 years of his life perfecting his tree-climbing skills. He was simply preparing to leave the nest.

The house seemed so much colder and emptier with only two people living in it. There were no thunderous footsteps early in the morning. No mud tracked across the freshly swept floor. The world felt too big when there were less clothes in the laundry, less shoes at the door, less food to prepare. But Mito would be alright. She had to be. She couldn’t afford to break down. She was goddamn Mito Freecs.

When Gon first wrote back home about Killua, she was exhilarated. Her eyes filled with happy tears. Her baby boy had found himself a friend. Of course, she loved every line of that letter, mouthed every word to herself as she read as though simply saying them could materialize Gon in front of her eyes. And yet her favorite lines were still those describing Killua (his “best friend in the whole entire world!”) and detailing all of his cool abilities. Seriously, Aunt Mito, did you know Killua could skateboard? He was so cool. As Mito read and reread that letter day after day, she hoped maybe she could someday meet this mysterious Killua, this child who had brought Gon so much joy. This boy who could make Gon whole where duct tape and band-aids could not.


	2. i fear no fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first time mito asks killua for permission
> 
> very vague mentions of canonical abuse in this chapter! watch out for that if you need to.
> 
> also fuck ging all my homies hate ging <3

It did not take long for Mito to get that chance. Well, not too long, at least. The bar was set pretty low by Ging. It was five, maybe six months later when Gon came barreling up the hill, a head of silvery hair following behind him with the sun gleaming off his tangled locks. So, this must be Killua.

“Aunt Mito!!!!!” Gon’s yells were just as enthusiastic as Mito remembered. His energy had not diminished in the least. She braced herself, knees slightly apart in preparation for what she knew was coming.

Gon was certainly heavier than before, Mito thought as Gon launched himself into her arms. Must be muscle mass. She managed to catch him just the same, though, and that was a victory in its own right. She spun him around for a moment, joining in with his hysterical laughter. There was a shifting behind Gon, a glinting of sunlight. That’s right, Killua was here too!

She quickly released Gon, who landed on his feet with the elegance of an elephant, and she took a good look at Gon’s first real friend.

He was small, she decided, but tough. Perhaps tougher than Gon. He was a few inches taller, too, and exuded a grace that Gon sorely lacked. With long fingers, an upturned nose, and gleaming eyes, he was almost doll-like if not for his posture, closed-off and wary. That was what Mito noticed next: his hesitancy. He was the polar opposite of Gon in that regard. His hands fidgeted almost unnoticeably, but it was his eyes that gave him away. They flitted from place to place as if looking for something. Looking for a threat, perhaps. 

Well, she would just have to do her best to be as unthreatening as possible.

“Killua, I presume?”

He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, hands creeping into his pockets. A surefire tell that he didn’t know quite what to say. Gon came to his rescue though, and immediately started gushing about everything and anything Killua. Mito watched with interest as Killua’s posture relaxed infinitesimally, eyes on Gon and cheeks coloring into a pale pink like watercolors on porcelain skin. Killua scoffed playfully at Gon’s sentiments, batting his hand away any time Gon’s excitable gestures came too close for his liking. The whole scene made Mito smile.

She had yet to invite them into the house, so she quickly remedied that situation. It didn’t escape her notice that Killua trailed behind them with silent and cautious steps. He certainly was an interesting child. 

A child. Yes, he was still a child, just like Gon. Gon had met him at the hunters exam; the only other person his age. She wondered about the circumstances behind Killua’s attendance at the exam. What was his childhood like, to be so capable at such a young age? Was it his heritage? Or was it simply the thrill? Were his parents as devastated by his departure as she was of Gon’s? Did he even have parents? There was so much to learn, so much to uncover in such a small package. A young boy, an enigma. She could see what Gon liked about him, though. There was something about him that screamed kind but mischievous, lonely but loving. She looked at him and saw a reflection of Gon. No, perhaps that wasn’t right; it wasn’t quite a reflection, more like a puzzle piece, one that fit perfectly and made something whole.

Mito decided then that, yes, she was immediately taken with this child. She would come to love him as her own son.

She watched in contemplative silence as the boys rushed up the stairs towards Gon’s room, chatting excitedly. It seemed as though everything was an adventure for those two. They reminded her, in a way, of her childhood, of running around with Ging and playing hide-and-seek across the entire island. Of how Ging was the only one who was ever able to find her, his intuition spot-on. Of the moments they shared, counting the constellations. When had that Ging of her memories disappeared? When had she become not enough? When had everything fallen apart?

She prayed that things would not fall apart for Gon.

To dissipate her negative thoughts, she busied herself with preparing dinner. This was easy. This was methodical. Chopping produce was second nature. Simmering broth over the stove was nothing new. Soon, Gran came to help her out, placing a kettle for tea on the burner behind the pot Mito was currently pouring the freshly chopped veggies into. The hand on her back was comforting. The wrinkles reminded her that she wasn’t alone, that Gran had stayed on this island, too. Each wrinkle told a story. Her fingers were a map of the world.

With the added help, dinner was ready in no time, and she hollered up the staircase for the boys to come down. Gon’s enthusiastic thumps rattled the floorboards in a familiar way, but once again, Killua’s footsteps were silent. He remained apprehensive, taking a seat next to Gon cautiously. His eyes scanned the room and he visibly froze upon seeing Gran. Gon’s sudden hand on his shoulder as he blabbed on and on about something or another seemed to calm him down, but he was still on edge. 

Mito tried to avert her gaze as she set bowls of stew, cups of tea, and slices of bread at each spot on the table. She didn’t want to make him any more nervous. It was nice, though, seeing all four chairs occupied. Setting all four places with a meal. She had left a fourth chair out since Ging had left for the second time, hoping he would come back to fill the empty space. Of course, he never did. Mito should have expected it.

She took a seat next to Gran, and they all, excluding a confused Killua, bowed their heads in thanksgiving. A moment passed and idle chit-chat filled the silence. Mito took notice of Killua’s refusal to join the conversation. More curious, however, was his refusal to eat. She watched as he stirred his stew around with his spoon and picked crumbs off his bread. His eyes flitted between his food and the others seated at the table. It was only after everyone else had taken several bites that Killua carefully lifted the spoon to his lips and allowed himself to swallow. Within a few minutes, he was eating ravenously, dipping chunks of bread in the broth and chewing on it delightedly. Notably, he still refrained from joining the discussion.

By the time dinner was completed, it was getting late. Late enough that the boys should be getting ready for bed. She said so.

“Okay, Aunt Mito! Thank you for dinner!” Gon beamed at her, pushing his chair back from the table and gathering his dishes. Killua followed suit, and they both placed their dirty bowls in the sink. When Gon turned around, Mito already had her arms open in anticipation. He rushed into them, wrapping his small arms around her waist and nuzzling his cheek into her shirt. She curled one arm around his back protectively and brushed his hair back with her free hand. It was a few moments before he pulled away.

Gon backed up and looked at Killua expectantly. The poor boy looked bewildered, staring at Gon and opening and closing his mouth several times, brows furrowing.

“You have to give Aunt Mito a goodnight hug, Killua! It’s the rules.” He nodded solemnly.

Killua looked taken aback and… was he frightened? He had frozen again, eyes wide and body absolutely still. His breaths were slow and measured, but Mito could tell he was struggling to maintain composure.

Oh.

Mito was no child psychologist, but she had eyes. The pieces came together one by one. His hesitance to eat. His fear of adults. His silent footsteps, as though making a sound would warrant a punishment.

“It’s alright, Killua. You don’t have to,” she reassured him. Gon gave her a scandalized look, but she shushed him with a hand placed in front of his chest.

Killua remained still, processing the information. Analyzing the situation. Finally, his eyes filled with determination and he steeled himself.

“No, I— I want to. I will.” He approached her carefully, stepping into her personal space. 

Before taking action, she double checked. “Killua, may I hug you?” The only response was a subtle nod.

He didn’t move to wrap his arms around her, but she gently placed her hands on his back. She didn’t pull him close, allowing him an escape if he so desired. He pulled back after a few seconds, offering her a shy smile before chasing Gon up the stairs.

Yes, Mito was certain. She would come to love Killua as her own son.


	3. for you are my fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the second time mito asks killua for permission
> 
> this chapter contains a mild accidental injury; there is no graphic description, but please be safe!
> 
> and we still hate ging

After that night, Killua was still paranoid, but he had made progress. For some reason, that filled Mito with an all-encompassing sense of pride. She had known this child for less than a week, but every smile he shared, every “thank you” he muttered, every snort of laughter he let loose in front of her was a gift from the heavens. Each small victory replayed in her mind in moments of quiet. She didn’t need to leave Whale Island to find her grand adventure, to search for her purpose. An adventure had come to her. She would show this boy unconditional love. Be his _real_ family, one that didn’t hurt him or neglect him.

Gon attracted wounded animals, Mito recalled. It was no wonder he attracted wounded people as well.

Speaking of Gon, he and Killua spent practically every waking hour out and about. Gon’s energy was palpable; he wanted to take Killua everywhere. Show him off to the people at the market. Teach him how to fish. Introduce him to all his animal friends. Give him a tour of all Gon’s favorite hidden spots on the island. Mito always woke early to prepare them a hearty breakfast, but then they were off, shoes still halfway off their feet.

Mito waited up for them to return home, too. She wanted to make sure that they came back safe and sound, no matter how late they stayed out. Last night they had returned near midnight, Gon’s eyes trained on the stars while Killua studied Gon with fascination and adoration. They smelled of campfire smoke and tree sap and a young, innocent love. Mito refused to offer her goodnight hug until after they washed the ashy scent off their skin. They came back smelling like soap and strawberries and sleepy contentedness.

By now, Killua approached her readily. He still remained rigid, his arms at his sides during the embrace, but he allowed her to wrap her arms around him briefly. It made her heart flood with joy. Pure, unadulterated joy. She longed to pet his hair, brush his messy bangs back from his eyes to kiss his forehead, but she knew she must be patient. Too much too quickly would only cause a regression. For now, she would just apply double the affection to Gon. Perhaps all that extra love would seep out of him and into Killua. Osmosis, or something.

Currently, the boys were once again exploring the island. It was just past midday, and Mito wondered idly if they had eaten the lunch she had packed yet. She was sitting at the dining room table in a different chair than usual. Killua’s chair, to be precise. She was glad she had something else to name this chair now. It had new memories inscribed in its wooden grains. It was no longer Ging’s chair. It was Killua’s, through and through. 

She watched clouds lazily float by outside the window, chin in her palm. Mito doesn’t remember much about her parents – they died while she was too young to have many memories of them – but she vividly recalls her mother sitting on the bench on the front porch, pointing out the shapes of the clouds to a young Mito and Ging. “The sky knows all the secrets of the world,” she had said. “There is a lot you can learn from the sky.” Mito wondered what the sky was telling her today. What was its big secret?

She was broken out of her reverie by a cup of steaming tea set before her. The puffs of water vapor floated in front of her eyes, making the image through the window shimmer like a mirage. Strange, how the clouds were made of this same stuff. It was almost like holding a cloud in a mug.

Gran settled beside her, a cup of her own cradled in her fingers. “Chamomile,” she explains without Mito having to ask. “It’s too hot to drink, though.” Mito just nods in response, mind still slightly foggy.

The two sat in companionable silence for a while. It might have been thirty seconds, or it might have been ten minutes. Mito wasn’t quite sure. All she knew for certain was that it was interrupted abruptly by the front door slamming open.

In toddled Killua, visibly agitated, Gon flitting around his shoulders like a buzzing bee.

“I told you, I’m fine, Gon!”

“But you’re bleeding, Killua! Let’s clean it up, at least! Please?” It was Gon’s puppy eyes that broke Killua’s will.

At this point, Mito was already on her feet, opening the cupboard under the sink to pull out the first aid kit. Hello, old friend. It’s been a while. Meanwhile, Gon ushered Killua to the table, pushing him by the shoulders until he took a seat reluctantly. Mito set the first aid kit adjacent to him and crouched down to their level.

“Care to explain what happened?”

It was Gon who responded, barreling over whatever Killua had opened his mouth to say. “We were out by that one waterfall – you know, the one with the foxbear cave nearby – and we were jumping on the rocks in the water and splashing each other and then Killua fell and he cut his arm on a sharp rock and it started bleeding and—”

Mito cut off his concerned ramblings with a hand over his mouth, which got Killua to smirk. Gon resorted to licking her palm, but Mito was resilient to all his attacks by now. She simply rubbed the spit off on his shirt.

“Well let’s get a look at the injury, shall we?” She waited patiently for Killua to roll back his sleeve and reveal the wound. Meanwhile, Mito pondered Gon’s story. It seemed strange that Killua would just slip like that. It was completely out of character for him, him who always walked with the silence and gracefulness of a ghost. (Little did Mito know, Killua only walked that way because he was filled with his own ghosts.) There must have been some other factor at play. Mito assumed it was Gon. From the way Killua was looking at him last night, it would come as no surprise to her if he had lost his footing while he was busy admiring Gon in the dappled afternoon light.

When Mito got a glimpse at the damage, she was pleased to find it was not extensive. Not deep enough to warrant stitches; a simple cleaning and bandaging should do. It was a rather long cut, however. She would need to pull out the gauze for this one. She began to fumble with the first aid kit. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Killua visibly flinch, eyes tracking the movement of her hands.

Oh.

“I can do it myself, you know,” Killua mumbled, eyes refusing to move from her fingers.

A sad smile spread across Mito’s face. “I know, but I want to do this. I want to help. May I tend to your wound, Killua?” She requested permission as softly as possible, stance open and nonthreatening. After a moment of silent consideration, Killua nodded and Mito’s smile turned genuine. She quickly washed her hands, ordering Gon out of the kitchen. His hovering was not helping. (Gon was not happy with this, but he would never dare oppose Aunt Mito.) Mito made quick work of cleaning and dressing the injury, wrapping it tightly in a layer of gauze.

“There, that should do it.” Killua’s gaze had not wavered from her fingers the whole time, but now he studied her face, searching for something in her eyes. He didn’t seem to find it.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

That was the moment in which Gon returned, a familiar box in his hands.

“Aunt Mito, Aunt Mito! Can we give Killua a rainbow band-aid? Pretty please?” Mito laughed in response, allowing Gon to pick out a band-aid and slap it on top of the gauze. “There! Blue, like your eyes, Killua!”

Killua blushed ferociously, batting Gon’s hands away and muttering something about him being embarrassing. Mito just smiled at the scene.

The long-forgotten tea is now cold, no steam in sight. The vapor had gone to join its brethren in the clouds.


	4. i want no world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the third time mito asks killua for permission
> 
> this fandom seems to lack works that focus on gon's acute guilt about what happened, so i tried to include a little of that while also tying in some comfort and positivity. also alluka shows up!!!
> 
> update: still hate ging

It had been a long time since Mito had seen Killua in person. Three years, to be precise. 

Gon had returned to Whale Island nearly two years ago now, happy to see her but carrying a burden on his shoulders that she couldn’t see, couldn’t alleviate. He was broken in a way that could not be fixed with duct tape, hurt in a way that could not be healed with band-aids. He had come back in pieces, but he was starting to put them together again.

There were many things that were different about Gon, now. He was still her loving and charismatic boy, but certain things were just… off. Gon rarely had nightmares as a child, but now he was plagued by violent dreams more often than not. The first month or so, he would wake up screaming, and Mito came to his side each night to offer gentle backrubs until he drifted back into bleak unconsciousness. After the screaming had ceased, Mito thought the nightmares had stopped too, but she was not blind. The bags under his eyes grew by the day, and he seemed to stumble out of his bedroom later and later each morning. No, Gon’s nightmares had not evaporated; he had simply learned to keep it hidden. His silence reminded her eerily of Killua’s back when he had first arrived.

Gon managed to hide it most of the time with his forced positivity and desire to help, but Mito could tell he was hollow. Guilt gnawed at his insides. Back when she was young, Mito’s uncle – Gon’s grandfather – had showed her how to make a small flute from a gourd. She had watched, fascinated, as he scooped out the insides, scraping them clean before cutting holes in the side. Now, Mito likened Gon to that gourd, plucked from the ground, its growth halted only to be hollowed out.

That hollowed-out gourd had turned into something beautiful, though. It gained a new purpose. With a little time, perhaps Gon could do the same.

Killua might not be physically present, but it was not uncommon to hear his voice either babbling on the phone or laughing through a video chat. The boys had decided to call in some form at least once a month; they couldn’t go long without regaling each other with recent tales and whispering nothings to each other late at night. It was one of the only times she saw Gon truly happy. If she caught him with tears running down his cheeks after hanging up, Mito never mentioned it.

Back when Killua had visited the island, she had focused on how lucky he was to have found Gon. Gon, who brought love, who brought light, who brought him home. Now, though, she realizes just how lucky it was that _Gon_ had found _Killua_. Killua balanced him out in every way. She could see it in the way he walked, the way he talked: Killua had shown Gon what it meant to be analytical, to think before he acted, to be patient and more aware of others. Certainly, Gon wasn’t skilled at these things yet, but he was different from before. Killua had helped Gon, even if neither of them knew it.

Which is why, after two years of watching Gon pick himself up and stand back on his feet, she was delighted to hear that Killua would be dropping by to visit. And, Mito was informed, he would be bringing his little sister along. Mito had heard his sister’s voice once in a while on the previously mentioned calls, but she had yet to actually see her, let alone meet her.

Mito was not going to lie: she was thrilled to have another girl around. Boys, especially 16-year-old boys, got old really quick. They were quite the handful: messy and oblivious (so, so oblivious – I’m looking at you, Killua). She loved Gon with all her heart, but there was just something different about girls. Different in a good way.

The day of their scheduled arrival, Gon raced out of the house at 7:30 in the morning. They weren’t scheduled to arrive until noon. Mito had yelled after him, demanding that he at least put on shoes. He reluctantly agreed, trudging back up the hill sheepishly and yanking his boots onto his feet before sprinting out the door again. Mito swears she had never seen him move so fast.

She took advantage of the quiet house to get some last-minute cleaning done. She wiped the windows, made the bed in the guest bedroom, swept the floor, set another chair at the table (next to ~~Ging’s~~ Killua’s chair), began preparations for lunch. Anything to keep her mind off her loneliness. Off her anxiety. She had no real need to be anxious. She knew this. But she wanted to be prepared, to look composed in front of her guests. She wanted to be a role model for Killua’s sister.

As it turns out, Killua’s sister is three years younger than him. Which makes her 13. Which makes her the same age as Mito was when Ging had left Gon on her doorstep.

Mito had felt stranded, back then. She had Gran, of course, but that was different. Mito was still a child. Her closest friend had left her years ago, and when he suddenly returned, it was only to throw a baby at her and leave. She had no one left and a child to raise while she was still a child herself. _13_. Mito was determined to be for Killua’s sister what she had always wanted for herself: a friend but also a teacher. A role model. Someone to look up to.

Mito had just finished setting lunch on the table when laughter began filtering in through the open window. She wiped nonexistent dust off her apron and smoothed her hair, hastily checking her reflection in a spoon. The curve of it warped her features, perhaps better reflecting the turbulence of her emotions than her actual face. She smiled wistfully, setting the spoon back in position before pushing open the front door.

The kids couldn’t quite be seen from the crest of the hill where Mito stood on the porch, but their laughter remained audible. A breeze fluttered Mito’s skirt and sent flyaway hairs into her eyes as she stared out over the horizon, waiting for three figures to appear under the afternoon sun. She found herself subconsciously humming a tune. It took her a moment to recognize the melody; it was one that her uncle used to play on his silly gourd flutes. 

Just as she was finishing the song, three silhouettes began the ascent towards the home, hand in hand. If she squinted, she could just barely make out that Gon was on the left and Killua was on the right, meaning that the one in the middle…

“Aunt Mito! Aunt Mito! They’re here! They’re really here!” Gon raced up the hill, dragging the poor girl behind him with their entangled hands. Killua whined at Gon’s continual yanking, trailing behind with his hand still clutching his sister’s other one. Mito took a moment to study his appearance.

He was still taller than Gon, but by even less of a margin than before. Both boys had sprouted several inches since last seeing each other. His build remained lithe, and his cheeks had lost their remaining baby fat, drawn out by high cheekbones. His hair was longer, too, but only just so. Just long enough that it would be simple to tuck a curly lock behind his ear.

Hmm, Mito should make a bet with Gran on that: how long would it take before Gon inevitably did just that?

By the time Mito had finished her examination, the three had reached the top of the hill and stood before her eagerly. Gon smiled expectantly, nudging Killua’s shoulder and pointing his gaze towards Alluka.

“Oh, um, hi Aunt Mito! This is my sister, Alluka.” The younger girl smiled as she was introduced and held her hand out towards Mito in preparation for a handshake. Mito took the invitation.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Alluka! You look lovely today!” It was true: she wore a stiped yellow sundress that reached her knees with a matching headband pulling back her dark hair. The dichotomy of the siblings’ hair colors and textures was startling. If not for their shared piercing eyes, Mito would never have guessed Killua and Alluka were siblings.

She invited the three into the house, fondly remembering doing so with Killua three years back. They kicked off their shoes and were directed to sit down for lunch. As they ate, Mito was pleased to notice that Killua no longer hesitated, and neither did Alluka.

Speaking of Alluka, Mito barely had time to talk to her. Killua and Gon were always dragging her around the island, sharing their favorite places with her. Mito only truly got to interact with her during meals until Alluka finally grew fed up, demanding that Killua let her stay at the house today. Mito could sense an argument coming, so she intervened quickly.

“Killua, is it alright if I spend time with Alluka? I think some girls-only time would do us both some good.” Mito offered Alluka a sly wink while Killua stared into space, pondering the request.

“Fine, permission granted.” Alluka let out a cheer and, internally, Mito did the same.

As Mito watched the boys’ retreating backs, Alluka tugged at her arm. She placed one hand at the side of her mouth, whispering “I really just wanted them to spend time alone,” with a glitter of mischief in her eyes. That got Mito to laugh.

“I like you already!” Alluka blossomed under the praise, eyes pressing into crescents as a wide grin stretched across her face. The look made Mito’s heart pang; it was reminiscent of Gon’s smiles from before. “So you can tell Gon likes Killua, too?”

“Oh please,” Alluka breathed, flipping a sheet of dark hair over her shoulder. “I’ve been living with Killua for two years. I would have to be blind to not see how whipped he is.” Mito bust into a fit of giggles. She hasn’t laughed like this since before Ging left. It was… nice.

“Well, why don’t we do something while they’re out? I’ve been dying to teach someone my new cookie recipe, but Gon could burn water. Wanna be my protégé?”

Alluka nodded in delight, following Mito into the kitchen. This must be what happiness is like.


	5. for you are my world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fourth time mito asks killua for permission
> 
> mito just wants everyone to be happy (she has to learn to let herself be happy too)
> 
> you know the drill: ging sucks, i hope he pisses his pants

The next few weeks flew by at an astounding pace. Alluka split her time evenly between exploring with the boys and messing around with Mito. Mito was rightfully delighted by this. When Gon was young, she spent more time tending to his needs and frantically doing housework than doing anything for herself. Even up until he left for the exam, his troublesome antics kept Mito on her toes. Raising Gon was a full-time job. Then, when he was gone for two years, Mito had filled her days with repetitive work and quiet hours with Gran. She had no real friends elsewhere on the island; most of the inhabitants were older. And then when Gon had returned, he was subdued. She once again focused much of her time on Gon, but now she was helping him with homework and attempting to make him happy in whatever way she could. Living for someone else is exhausting.

With Alluka, Mito felt young again. Mischievous. _Important_. The girls gossiped conspiratorially on the daily, usually over a cup of tea. They traded stories about Gon and Killua, did each other’s hair, and shared stories of their own pasts. 

It was oddly relieving to tell someone else about Ging, about all the good and the bad. The things he gave her and the things he took away. And Alluka was a wonderful listener. In return, Alluka offered tales of her childhood (which cemented Mito’s presumptions about Killua’s upbringing) interspersed with anecdotes of her adventures with Killua. Alluka had an extensive collection of pictures on her phone of her and Killua around the world that she did not hesitate to show Mito and babble about with vigor. She swiped past picture after picture of herself hugging a surprised Killua from behind, Killua framed by a sunset and unaware of the photo being taken, herself drinking bubble tea in front of a quaint café, Killua making a face at the camera as he realized Alluka was taking pictures of him… It was endearing and amusing. 

Mito wished she could be a little more like Alluka, who was bold and decisive. She knew what she wanted, and she got it. She bent the rules for a little fun, taking advantage of her brother’s leniency. Most of all, she was unafraid of being herself. Mito could learn a thing or two.

But Mito was both a student and a teacher. Alluka was fascinated with the art of cooking and baking, eagerly learning recipe after recipe. Her patience and ingenuity made her a natural in the kitchen – significantly better than Gon. Then again, practically everyone was better than Gon in the kitchen. 

On the final night of their stay, Alluka had requested that she make dinner by herself. Mito almost teared up. Her student had become the master.

To be honest, Mito felt a bit lost. The hours before dinner were always filled with food preparation. What would she do with all this free time? She ended up joining Gran in the other room, fingers curled around a mug of tea as they chatted idly. The boys had returned home (hand in hand, Mito noticed smugly) before Alluka had finished dinner, so they joined the two women in easy conversation. The group had fallen into a companionable silence, listening to the crickets chirping their nightly melodies, when Alluka poked her head out of the kitchen and announced that dinner was ready.

Dinner was, as expected, delicious. Mito’s pride rivaled that of Killua’s.

And then, suddenly, it was the next morning, and Mito found herself walking with Gon, Killua, and Alluka towards the docks. It was chillier than the day they arrived. Windier, too. The trees swayed with the breeze as if waving goodbye. Or perhaps they were waving hello. Hello to new beginnings. To new friendships. To a new Mito, a Mito who had been reborn, revitalized.

The four of them arrived a bit early, twenty minutes before the boat was scheduled to arrive. Perfect.

“Hey Gon,” Mito called, “why don’t you go buy our guests some ice cream as a goodbye gift.”

“With my own money?”

“You’re nearly 17, suck it up.” Gon sulked as he retreated, but Mito knew he would rather spend that money on his friends than himself, anyway.

“So,” she said, turning towards Killua, “can we talk for a minute?” Killua paled even further (if that was even possible), so she reassured him with a quick “no, no, no! It’s nothing bad. Just… a request.” That piqued his interest, and so he nodded, letting her continue. “Listen, Killua, I know Gon wants to go with you, and I know you want him back.” He flushed at the insinuation but did nothing to deny it. “I want him to follow his dreams. I want him to be happy. And his dreams are with you; you make him happy. But will you allow me to be selfish just a little while longer? Keep my baby with me for another year or so? I promise I’ll give him back to you, but may I hold onto this moment, please?” Her request was met with wide eyes. He had clearly not been expecting that.

“I, um… Yeah, I mean he’s your son, pretty much. And, uh, if he wants to come find us later, he can.” His muttered “I would like that” tagged on the end was almost carried away by the breeze as he turned his reddening face and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. He recovered quickly, though. “We both know he’d just be obnoxious, anyway. I don’t think that idiot has ever learned about personal space.”

Alluka, who had been not so subtly listening the whole time, burst into laughter at the same time as Mito did. When Gon returned moments later, he found the three bent at the waist, giggling uncontrollably.

Mito was pleased to admit that, before the boat pulled away, she received an unprompted hug from both Killua and Alluka.

Oh, how times have changed.


	6. whatever a moon has always meant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fifth time mito asks killua for permission
> 
> me? mentioning nanika in my fics because i love her? more likely than you'd think.
> 
> guess what??? i still hate g*ng

When Mito let Gon leave the island again on his 18th birthday, it mirrored the day she let him leave at age 12 almost eerily perfectly. His clothes were different, and he was taller than her, now, but that was to be expected. Just as before, he carried only his essentials with him, slung over his shoulders in a backpack. When Mito asked why he didn’t pack more, he laughed. “Aunt Mito, this is the start of a new adventure for me. A new purpose! It would be fitting to start everything over, I think.” He mulled it over for a moment. “Yeah, I think Killua would agree.” And so, poised with his packed backpack and a determined smile, her offered Mito a hug and parting words of love before racing down the hill.

As she watched his back retreat, she found herself humming one of her grandfather’s gourd flute songs again.

Before Gon had left, she had demanded that he called her as soon as he arrived. He agreed, exasperated, after consistent nagging. For the three days following his departure, she brought the phone with her everywhere, determined not to miss that moment. It was lucky she did because on the fourth day, the phone began ringing incessantly smack dab in the middle of her morning shower.

Mito fumbled to turn the water off, stumbling out of the shower with stubborn soap suds still remaining in her hair. After quickly wrapping a towel around her dripping figure, she wiped her hands completely dry and slammed the “accept call” button. A breathless “hello?” escaped her lips.

“Oh hi, Aunt Mito! I stole Gon’s phone, I hope you don’t mind.” Alluka’s melodic voice filled the bathroom and bounced off the walls. Mito smiled as she heard tussling on the other side of the phone.

“Hey, give it back! Hi, Aunt Mito! I got here safe, see—” More tussling.

“Hey, Aunt Mito, it’s Killua. I’m confiscating your son’s phone because he ALMOST LANDED US IN THE RIVER by screaming my name and jumping at me when he first saw us. I thought he had learned to be more patient while we were gone but I guess not.” Gon’s muffled “hey!” and Alluka’s laughter reverberated through the room. “Wait, Gon, what—No! Stop! Hey! Get off of me!”

“Anyway,” came Gon’s voice, “I got my phone back.” 

“I can see that,” Mito acknowledged, voice brimming with amusement. “Is that all you wanted to tell me?”

“No!!! You just said to tell you when I arrived safely so… Oh, and Killua wanted to hear your voice.”

Mito could hear someone slap a hand over Gon’s mouth. “Idiot, don’t say that, it’s embarrassing!” Killua hissed, barely audible. “God, did you just lick me?”

“It’s not embarrassing if it’s true! Just admit it, I have the best mom in the world and you want me to share.”

“You little—”

The other side of the phone dissolved into chaos as the boys seemed to playfully wrestle. Luckily, Alluka snatched the phone away before it could be damaged. “Alright, well, I should probably take care of these two. We’ll call you back later, okay? Love you!” Mito opened her mouth to respond but the line was already dead.

She lowered the phone, still clutched between pruney fingers, a hysterical smile stretched across her face. A contented sigh left her lips as she leaned back against the wall and watched the ever-expanding puddle at her feet ripple with each new drip from her hair. Hmm, she should probably take care of that.

Later, after thoroughly drying her hair, getting dressed, and receiving photo evidence from Alluka that the boys were once again getting along, she settled in the kitchen, preparing to make dinner. She scrolled up through her text messages, trying to find that recipe Alluka had shared with her a week ago. Alluka had claimed it was splendid, so Mito had agreed to try it. Gran had even gone down to the market with her to buy the necessary ingredients; it was the first time she had walked that far in a long time.

It was later that night, after dinner had been served and Gran had turned in, when Mito’s phone rang. A video call. She took a seat at the table, smoothing her hair and setting a delicate smile on her face before accepting.

Gon’s face filled the screen, a little closer than necessary, but when he noticed that Mito had joined the call, he pulled his arm away, leaning back to yell over his shoulder. “Guys! She answered!” There was a commotion in the background, pixilated colors blurring as someone (Killua) threw themselves over the back of the couch. Alluka squeezed onto the couch on the other side of Gon moments later, a bobby pin between her lips as she braided her hair.

“So, how was your day?” Mito questioned. All hell broke loose on the other side as the three started talking over each other. Typical. Mito half tuned them out, lost in thought. Was this what she would have been like if she hadn’t been forced into motherhood at 13? Would she be like Alluka, wild and bold while also poised? Or maybe like Killua, madly in love and happy just to be living his own life. What about Gon; would she have been like him, chasing her dreams and finding her place in the world? What would her life had looked like if not for Ging? It really all came back to him, didn’t it. She was almost jealous of Alluka. At least Killua had come back for her. Mito had stayed here, stuck her entire life.

Really, though, Mito was beyond grateful that she had met the Zoldyck siblings. They had sorely needed a mother, and Mito had sorely needed a friend. Somehow, through some gift of the heavens, both parties had gotten what they had required.

She was drawn back into the conversation only when a strange silence fell over the group. Killua and Alluka had locked eyes, a silent argument passing between them. Gon watched on, eyes glazing over in confusion. Ah yes, that was her son. After a heated moment, Alluka spun her head quickly in the direction of the camera. “Hey, Aunt Mito, do you remember when I told you about our other sister?”

“Hm? Nanika?” Mito replied. Yeah, she had heard of Nanika from Alluka. Apparently, Killua had been out of the loop because his eyes were filled with barely concealed fury as he glared at Alluka menacingly. 

“Yeah! Well, would you like to meet her?”

“Alluka!” Killua seethed, scandalized. “You can’t just go around telling everyone about Nanika!”

“Is Aunt Mito ‘everyone’?” 

Killua fell silent at that, teeth clacking together audibly as he closed his gaping jaw. “Okay, you have a point,” he muttered.

Mito was hesitant to interrupt their moment, but Alluka nodded at her encouragingly, so she took the plunge. “Killua,” she said slowly, “may I meet Nanika? Please?”

Killua took a deep breath through his nose, clenching his jaw and closing his eyes. After a moment, he leaned forward, taking the phone from Gon’s hand and bringing it closer to his face. “I’m not good at this whole emotion stuff, okay? So I’m only going to say this once. Nanika is…” A pause. “Nanika is my sister and I love her dearly, but she’s also a secret. Her powers are dangerous when they get into the wrong hands, so we only show her to people we can trust. Even then, not everyone gets to meet her. Her and Alluka’s safety mean everything to me. But I also know that Alluka loves you, and I love you, and Nanika will love you, too.” Tears began to bloom beneath Killua’s eyes. “I’m trying my best. I really am, but Nanika needs a mother. And I know you can be that mother. So, yeah. Yeah, you can meet Nanika. I NEED you to meet Nanika.”

Mito was stunned speechless, and she was sure there were tracks of salt running down her face as well. She wiped them off hastily as she whispered “of course.”

Moments later, Alluka’s face shifted, features obscuring into darkness. Mito watched with a watery smile as Gon took Nanika’s hand and rubbed the back of her palm slowly, comfortingly.

“Hello, Nanika.”


	7. whatever the sun will sing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and finally, one time killua asks mito for permission
> 
> this is just pure fluff and VERY self-indulgent lmao
> 
> still hate ging, but i'll forgive him just this once cuz he birthed gon

When Killua came to Whale Island for the third time, he came alone.

It had been nearly five years since he last visited, and just over eight since he had arrived on her doorstep at age 12. He was so much smaller, then, both in stature and in spirit. She remembers his hesitancy, his flinching and fear as if it were yesterday. The Killua of then would never have approached Mito on his own. He never would have climbed to the top of the hill in the pouring rain, unannounced, bangs dripping into his eyes as he shivered. He never would have dared to show weakness, to put himself at such a disadvantage.

When Mito spotted him outside the window, she threw open the door and ran out into the rain, foregoing shoes and a coat in her rush. The walk from the docks to the house was twenty minutes if you’re quick; Killua must be soaked to the bone and frozen stiff by now. She doesn’t even stop to ask what he’s doing here, too busy wrapping an arm around his shoulders to share body heat and rushing him inside.

After a change of clothes, the two find themselves sitting in silence in front of a fire, cradling twin cups of tea. Mito waits patiently. She knows by now not to push Killua. She would have to wait for him to open up, for him to come to her. She would always wait for him, though. Every time.

Mito heard him breathe deeply before looking up to meet her gaze. His shoulders were still stiff, and his hair still clung to his head, the occasional drop creating a moat along his collar bones. As he opened his mouth to speak, though, he relaxed, licking his lips nervously.

“Sorry for not giving you any warning.”

“Killua, look at me.” She waited until she had his unwavering gaze before continuing. “You are always, _always_ welcome here. No matter what.”

Killua was left with no words, and he worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he tried to figure out what to say next. “Don’t tell Gon that I’m here, please. He, uh… He actually thinks I’m out on a mission right now. Just another job, ya know? I wanted to talk to you. Alone.”

Mito wanted to raise her eyebrows, but she manages to maintain a neutral face, allowing Killua to continue. Any sign of confusion might scare him off. “Is there something you need?”

“Well… about that. I wanted to start by thanking you.”

This time, Mito couldn’t control her eyebrows as they skyrocketed. “Thank me?”

“Listen, I don’t know how much you know or ever _will_ know about my birth mother, but she was awful. A manipulative bitch. But when you saw me, broken and terrified in front of you, you just welcomed me in. You were patient with me. And you always asked permission before doing anything. That had never happened to me before, not even with Gon. I was always just expected to do things. Expected to be strong, to be who they wanted me to be. You never had those expectations. All you ever wanted was for me to be happy.”

“And are you happy, Killua?”

He rubbed at his eyes roughly with the back of his palm, trying to wish away the tears that had begun to collect there. “Yeah. I’m really, really happy. And I have you to thank for that. But that’s not the only reason I’m here.” Mito hummed in acknowledgement, prompting him to continue. “I actually came to ask _you_ for permission.”

Mito watched with interest as he set his cup to the side, bowing his head and burying his fingers in his damp locks. When he looked up again, his stare was determined. “Aunt Mito—”

“Please, just call me Mito.”

He smiled. “Mito, then, may I have your permission to marry Gon?”

The cup Mito had still been holding fell out of her fingers as she went slack in shock, shattering on the floor. Poor Killua watched, concerned, as she stared silently at the mess.

“I, uh, I’ll go get a broom—”

“Killua!” Mito stood abruptly, grabbing his arm almost desperately. “Killua, my love, of course you may. You never even had to ask.” Now it was Killua’s turn to stand frozen still while processing the words that had just been uttered. They must have looked quite the pair, standing in the dim room as rain and wind howled around them, ceramic shards covering the floor at their feet, eyes wet and cheeks salty. After a moment, Killua gingerly stepped over the mess and pulled Mito into a hug.

“Thank you,” he whispered to the top of her head.

“No, thank you,” she whispered into his shoulder.

The two spent the rest of the evening sweeping the shards off the floor and sharing stories, mostly about Gon and Alluka. It was late enough that Mito demanded Killua stay the night in Gon’s old room.

And as Killua was gathering his things in the morning, Mito dug through the cabinets under the sink, looking for two very specific things.

Aha.

“Killua!” The boy in question turned towards her in the middle of shrugging a coat onto his shoulders. “Take these with you. I have a feeling you’re going to be needing them much more than me.” She delicately set the roll of duct tape and box of rainbow band-aids in his open arms. “And if you see Ging, give him a punch from me, alright?”

With a hug and a laugh, he was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to the end! thank you for reading! honestly, i poured a lot of my soul into this piece!! as i discovered more about mito as i interpreted her, i just wanted to keep writing! i hope you enjoyed <3
> 
> i spent a lot of time contemplating whether or not i should make this a multi-chaptered fic or one long chapter. i ultimately decided to go with multiple chapters because i felt as though the breaks were natural and allowed readers to easily break from reading if they so desired. let me know if you liked this layout so i can alter future fic ideas to cater to my readers' tastes! drop a comment if you'd like, they always make my day :)


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